5 days agoGood Enough[We knew we were entering the Valley of Peace a week before. She is at peace now.] A good enough moment Mom took her last breath at 9:40 a.m. Monday June 13. The time is not precise, the moment wasn’t perfect. They were good enough. Dad was working on the well pump. I was…Dying5 min read
Jun 2Invisible to Everyone ElseI sit on my porch after mowing all the yards and I see it, a patch in my back yard that I missed. It’s hardly noticeable, probably invisible to everyone else, but from this angle and because I was the one who missed it, I see it. I squirm in…Alzheimers3 min read
May 27Going HomeI spent a week at home. I’m going home today. Home. It’s a tricky word. Maybe I’m polydomestic? I am at home -truly at home- in multiple places. I never love leaving, but I have learned that leaving is okay, because I am at home at either house. I’ve been…Alzheimers3 min read
May 18Life SwirlsI started a text to my friends yesterday morning to let them know (warn them?) that I would be in town for a few days. I’ll be around next week. Let me know if you have time to get together. 90 miles feels like 90 leagues lately. I’m struggling… Or…Alzheimers3 min read
May 12Wholly BrokenWe’re breaking. -You’ve been on us for hours! What are you doing? -Nothing. Just getting ready. -Nothing!? You’re breaking us for nothing? -Not nothing. Mom’s birthday. -Ohhh, our aching bones. And those knees… before long, they’ll collapse on us! -Just a little longer. I’m almost done … mom’s feet would never have…Alzheimers2 min read
Apr 29Celebrations and Mixed FeelingsToday is mom’s birthday. ¡Cinco de Mayo! I have mixed feelings. If you had asked me in January What are you doing for your mom’s 84thbirthday? I would have explained, She won’t be here for it. But she is. Mixed feelings I’ve written about mixed feelings around mom’s disease and decline before…Alzheimers3 min read
Apr 20Grace VisitsMom still loves visits. Her fight to show up for us remains fierce. I can’t say I show up for visits with her ferocity. It’s spring, and dad and I have impossible to-do lists that crowd our sleep and our clocks, an evil formula at work: the longer the list of to-dos, the deeper…Alzheimers Disease3 min read
Apr 17Gas lights, glass houses, and safetyWhat happens when you light a gas light in a glass house? My first concern: the safety of it. I’ve sat on the question of a gas light in a glass house since I called the owner of mom’s sitter agency last week. A couple of things the owner doesn’t know: We live in a glass house. I write about mom’s journey…Alzheimers Care4 min read
Apr 7Better beforeIt was better before. I’m not as regular as the sunrise, but I visit and on good days, I take you for a walk. Walks aren’t what they used to be. Wheels are involved. Walks were better before. I lift you from the hospital bed where you’re spending your last days on this planet…Alzheimers5 min read
Mar 31She’s moreShe’s more than she was to me. I didn’t know what to expect last Saturday. Two years ago, just before she fell ill, I had lunch with my friend Carmen. We hadn’t seen each other for decades of life, relationships, and changes. Now she’s gone. …Mentors2 min read